Beneath your beautiful
by SeekuhPrincess
Summary: Maybe it wasn't the best idea Lauren ever had to speak with Anthony, letting her comfort by his compliments. She doesn't know why she has the image of Donutface (a.k.a. Amy) in her mind. And she doesn't know what to do and how to handle Amy's lovesickness and her own ... jealousy? She doesn't understand her own feelings anymore! (Set in S02E13; Cooperfeld!)
1. Chapter 1

_Notes: S02E13: Future Tense (Spoiler alert, but drifting into own story)_

 _After the recent episode I had the urgent need to write a fanfiction. Cooperfeld, to be exactly, because of the huge lack of it. (Not that I hate Karmy or Anthony, or Reagan, but my heart belongs to crack-pairings.)_

 _So, this is my first fanfiction and I'm obviously no native speaker BUT I hope you have fun and I'm looking forward to feedback :)_

 **Disclaimer: I don't owe Faking It nor the characters.**  
 **Title: "Beneath your beautiful" by Labyrinth (and Emeli Sandé)**

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„Why do you like me?" Her hands on her hips, her glare was questioning. Lauren didn't know why she was asking Theo – Anthony – Whatthefuckhisnamewas. But… she needed an answer. "Ouhh… what?" God, this guy was really an idiot. A simple question, why does she have to explain it at all? "You claim your feelings for me are real? You say you want me back? Tell me why! … And don't you dare say it's because I'm pretty! … … … Though they can be one of the reasons…" To be honest, sometimes, when she was alone, she doubted if she has something else to offer than her beauty. Or, since latest, the fact, that she was intersex. But this is nothing she would EVER admit to anyone. Which leads back to the current situation.

The look on his face, his smile, his eyes, gave her goosebumps. But not in the good way. Not anymore. Though she tried to suppress these feelings, her weakness, she felt her heart ache. This man caused her so damn much trouble and so many tears. Not to forget the fuckin extra calories because of the cookie dough – ice cream and the tons of donuts Amy offered to her.

At the thought of her blonde stepsister she frowned. Just for a second the image of the smiling Donutface popped up in her mind, making her heart beat faster, but she tried to shake it off immediately and concentrate on the cute compliments this guy, she thought she knew, offering her hurt and confused soul.

Lauren tilted her head to one side, glaring at Anthony. His words were right, but… why didn't they feel 'right'? _Because this damn motherfucker lied to you, betrayed you and now he's coming back and tries to win your heart, which he has broken into thousand pieces not too long ago!_ She know her mind was right, but she didn't want to think about that. Not now, when she felt, like she was nothing more, than an intersex class president and needed comfort, though she didn't want to admit. She didn't even care about who was comforting her, did she?

Suddenly she had the image of Amy in her head, again, but before she could think about the meaning of it she leaned in, pushed her soft lips on Anthony's, who was clearly surprised, but responded intensively. The last time she kissed him seemed to be ages ago, though it were only a few weeks. Where was the warm she felt in those days? Where was the electricity in their touches? It didn't feel like before. Not good, not comforting, not safe. Her body wanted to resist, making her heart ache like the day she found out, that he was a fucking narc, tears burning in her eyes, ready to flow.

 _I can't do this. I can't do this anymore._ The thoughts are screaming in her head as she released herself from their kiss and she didn't even know, if he noticed Laurens watering eyes. "Okay… what else?" She asked with an almost convincing smile, "Keep them coming."

The hope the blonde girl saw in Anthony's eyes making her cringe and regretting her last words. This wasn't the right thing to do. Okay, she doesn't really care what was the 'right thing to do' or some of this bullshit, and she knew this guy deserved every pain he could get, for sure, but in this moment Lauren realized that maybe – MAYBE! – she was making a mistake by letting her comfort by the guy, who made her cry like a little child. Biting her lip she stepped back, glaring at him, not sure, what he was going to do. "…Lauren." He said in a tender voice. "Lauren, I know I was a fool by lying to you, but… this kiss! You did feel it, didn't you?" He raised from the chair he was pushed into a few minutes ago. "I know you hate the lies, but this kiss… was the truth! You did feel these emotions between us!" _If you mean disgust and regret, then I have to agree…_ The petite girl sighed and crossed her arms across her chest, like a defense, slowly shaking her head. "…I…"She didn't know what to say, because she didn't know what she did neither. "… I have to go. Now." Her voice was choked but shaking and she didn't dare to glance back at the man behind her, as she left the room in a hurry. A tear was escaping from her eye. _I need someone… someone to talk…_ This time she didn't wondered why she immediately thought of her stepsister. Just the fluttering in her stomach didn't make any sense to her.

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Amy had cried so much, her stomach wanted to fight back, and she felt suddenly sick. But vomiting was no option, also because her dinner was delicious. But actually because her best friend was lying next to her. Karma was comforting her, gently touching her arm, mumbling consoling words. It was a strange intimacy after the emotional rollercoaster they've been through the last months, but she was more relieved than maybe ever before to call the brunette her best friend. The last time she was so glad to have Karma by her side was, when she destroyed this croquem… this CAKE, and her mother made Lauren her maid of honor.

Lauren.

Amy frowned suddenly and shook her head. She didn't quite understand her stepsister, who could be the devil in person, most of the time. But when she's actually showing feelings, and her big blue eyes are watering, Amy couldn't stand it, she felt the need to be there for Lauren. Like dressing up as a pirate… It was so called family bonding, wasn't it? "Don't you think, that I looked really handsome with mustache?" Amy suddenly giggled, holding her index finger like a mustache under her nose. She looked at Karma with her tear-swollen face, but suddenly a spark in the eyes. "Reaaallyyy?" Karma asked confused, but with a small smile on her red lips. She didn't sound really convinced.

Indignantly Amy sat up, pouting a little bit. "You don't think?" She held dramatically a hand to her heart. "That hurts." Now Karma giggled slightly and Amy grinned in response. "You know this evening you worked with…" Amy's voice broke a little, but she cleared her throat, and proceed: "Shane, Lauren and I were on an undercover-mission to reveal Theo's true identity to everyone at a new school. And I was the heroic pirate! And I was reeeeaaally handsome." Amy said with something like proud in her voice. Now Karma was really laughing. "And Lauren was the damsel in distress?" She asked in unbelief. Smirking Amy leaned back again and looked at her best friend. "Rather the cheerleader in distress, but you've got the idea!"

Something in Amy's voice was irritating, but Karma couldn't figure out what it was. "How is she doing with Theo popping up at Hester, again?" She quietly asked Amy. It's not like she actually cared about Lauren, but the change in the topic also seemed to changed Amy's mood. The blonde shrugged. She remembered Lauren's puffy face, her shaking voice and hands at the pep-really, the pain in her eyes, when the three of them sat together, eating ice-cream. Not even when she dumped Thommy, or when the rumor about the pills were spread in school she seemed so hurt. And to be honest, she wanted to kick Theo in his damn balls! … Family bonding, remember?

 _Think it once again, maybe you'll believe it someday, Amy._ She swallowed quietly, biting her lip at her thought. Where did that come from? Amy was confused. But she remembered she had the thought not too long ago. _Damsel in distress? And you're her hero? Doesn't sound like a story about two stepSISTERS, does it?_ Amy gasped softly, cuddling up at Karmas side. She needed distraction. And her best friend was the best distraction in this world. She sighed and noticed she didn't answer the question. "I think she is really lovesick." Karma looked in Amy's eyes with an encouragingly smile. "So… maybe you can help her?" Again Amy bit her lip, slowly nodding. She wrapped her arms around Karma. It was not like she forgot Reagan, but she felt like she had no tears left in this moment. "How about ice-cream and netflixing?"

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 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ Lauren threw her bag at the floor. It was already late in the evening and she knew Farrah and Bruce wouldn't appreciate her lack of punctuality. Fortunately today was the "weekly date-evening" and Lauren expected the scolding not until tomorrow.

She didn't know what she did this whole afternoon. She knew she was in the dance studio for practice and drank lots of coffee and tea in this shady coffee shop down the road, but her head felt empty and her body was still shaking hours later after this… accident with the fuckin idiot.

Her eyes were still puffy, when the blonde headed to the freezer to got herself some of the ice-cream she really needed right now. Sighing she looked into, to find… nothing. "Where the fuck is …" Her angry voice was louder than expected.

 _"Well_ , _well_ , _well_ , _Banzai_ , what have we got here?" Lauren heard a quite familiar voice behind her, making her heart skipping a beat. She took a deep breath before turning around. "You did not just really quoted 'The Lion King', did you?" Lauren asked her stepsister in front of her, her voice still angry. Her frown was clearly visible, even deeper when she noticed Karma next to Amy, holding HER ice cream in the hands. "This is mine." With her chin pointing to the said candy she crossed her arms over her chest. Amy was just lifting an eyebrow, Karma was giggling. "I thought you hated that 'disgusting unhealthy trash with way too many calories'?" Amy tilted her head to one side, with a small smile on her face. Lauren could see that Amy had cried lately, but she was also sure, that both of them noticed her own tear-swollen face as well. It was unsettling. "I want it anyway." With another deep breathe she glanced at Karma with an expression of disgust. "What does she do here at all?" The mentioned girl rolled her eyes. "She's my best friend, idi…" Amy swallowed the insult and smiled sweetly at her. She could tell that Lauren needed a friend rather than harsh words right now. She remembered Karmas words and added slowly: "We're going to eat junk food and watch documentaries. … Wanna join us?"

The shocked look on both of the other girls' faces was priceless. Amy waited for Lauren's answer. _I'm wondering why she was crying. Though she is an evil bitch –most of the time at least - I don't approve the thought of her crying because of… of her crying._ Her thoughts were surprising her again. "We can … also talk, if you want to." Lauren's angry look switched to an incredibly soft expression, before turning back. "Talk? About what?"

"Maybe about Theo?" Karma interfered.

 _Karma, I love you… But you're an idiot._ A noticeably tension built up when Lauren put on her fakest smile ever. "No. I don't want to talk about fucking Anthony. Understood?!" Her voice lowered to a growl as the pushed Karma aside, walking to her bag, which was still lying on the floor. Lauren felt the tears burning again in her eyes. Grabbing it she stormed away to her room, slamming her door.

"Wow…" Karma said, a touch of guilt in her voice. She swallowed hard. Lauren needed someone to talk to, for sure, before she was burning the city, or something similar devilish; but Karma was obviously not her first choice. But she knew who it could be. "… Maybe you should look after her…" She whispered to Amy and handed her the ice-cream. Amy looked puzzled, before her lips twitched and formed a smile, nodding.

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Her heart was racing when she slammed her door throwing her bag back at the ground. Her hands began to shake again slightly. _This stupid bitches! Interfering in everything! Why can't they leave me alone?! Why do I have to live here anyways?!_ Lauren let herself fall on her bed frustrated, grabbing a pillow, she screamed her anger and frustration in it. She didn't know how long she was lying like that, when she heard a weak know on her door. "Get lost!" She didn't feel like talking with Donutface and Hippiegirl. It's not that she hated Karma. But she couldn't understand why Amy was forgiving her so fast, after all she had done. And she knew how hurt Amy had been. _She was a mess on this wedding and days after that. I've never seen her like that before, though I'm enjoying to torture her._ A smile crept onto her lips. Torturing Amy (and Karma) had become her favorite hobby lately.

 _Amy did help you after all, after all the bullshit you've dragged her through._ A sudden thought in her head popped up. _Probably she is the only real friend you've got in this crazy place._ Slightly grimacing she sat up. Where did that came from? Cuddling her pillow she stared at her door. She didn't even like Amy, did she? Again, she heard a knock. Immediately her stomach responded with an awkward fluttering. _What the fuck. What does that supposed to mean?!_ Lauren had no time thinking about it, because said stepsister stand in her room just one moment later. "Are you deaf?! Is this your new way becoming famous? Because I said: GET LOST." She glared at Amy, still holding the light blue pillow, which had stains of her make-up on it. To be honest… Amy looked like shit, too. Her hair was completely messed up, and she wore that 'comfy clothes', which Lauren hated. Amy could look so beautiful, if she tried but… _Wait. Did you just call her beautiful?_ A weak blush crept onto Laurens face as well as a disapproving frown. "What do you want, Raudenfeld?"

Amy raised one hand, a smile on her face. She knew Laurens attitude too well, to be intimidated. "I come in peace!" She declared, showing her stepsister the ice-cream. "And this is my… peace offering." With a gracious gesture she stepped to Laurens bed, waiting for her response. _Again this 'damsel-in-distress'-thing? It gets old, don't you think?_ Amy wanted to shake this quite ridiculous thought off, when she noticed how her stepsister relaxed. At least a little bit. Sometimes she seemed to be stiff like a doll. But now Amy saw a nearly soft expression in Lauren's face, her eyes sparkling. She knew that Lauren didn't know how predictable she could be. It filled her stomach with an awkward feeling, that she ignored most of the time. "Where is Karma?" Husky of screaming in her pillow, Lauren's voice sent a shiver through Amy's spine.

Slowly Amy headed to Lauren's bed, sat down very carefully, looking at the other blonde. "She had to go home. Some… smoothie-disaster she said." Amy was biting her lower lip thoughtful and Lauren's eyes widened at her next words: "Just the two of us tonight, okay?"


	2. Chapter 2

" _Just the two of us tonight, okay?"_

Amy's words were ringing in Lauren's ears, she grabbed her pillow tighter, like a weapon. "Why would you want that?" She whispered, clearing her voice right afterwards. She hated herself for being this nervous – _weak_ – in front of Amy. Slowly she slid back, just to enlarge the distance between them. "You know, that we're not … friends, or something like that, don't you?" Her mouth spilled out the sentence too fast to consider the meaning of it. As if she were surprised by her own words Lauren gasped and brake the eye contact. _Why the fuck are you this nervous?! And why are you ruining the peace offering? You're crazy!_ Her fingers were playing unconsciously with the fabric of the pillow, showing her uneasiness.

"Well…" Amy couldn't quite hide her disappointment. She swallowed hard, frowning deep. Slightly sighing she searched in Lauren's face the softness she noticed before. She only saw unease and felt the tension between them. "Though I know we're not 'friends'" She air-quoted. "we… I … I thought you could need someone to talk to." Amy took a deep breath when she saw Lauren's twitching lips. "…OR we'll just eating ice cream and watching something you like?" _Why do I have to be this nice to her? She just hates me anyway. She'll never accept th-_ "Okay."

Amy's eyes widened in shock when she heard Lauren's answer. "You… what? Okay?" She asked confused but with a bright smile on her face, the first one this evening to be exactly. While ignoring her heart beating slightly faster than it used to do she grabbed the ice cream and stood up, grinning at Lauren. "Your place or mine?" Amy asked the other one seductively, winking at her. Sawing the confused look and the blush on her stepsister's face Amy started laughing loudly. "Fine… then it'll be mine." Lauren's answer was the pillow she was throwing with force against Amy. "Don't be ridiculous." She hissed in response.

Her words only earned a giggle from Amy, before she eyed up Lauren. "Be ready in ten minutes, or I'll choose tonight's program." Lauren opened her mouth to respond but Amy cut her short. "I don't want make-up stains on my bedding, and your dress, though it is quite pretty, doesn't look to comfy." There was a moment's silence between them before Lauren spoke up. "I know I'm pretty. You don't have to tell me." Her glance was expectant, but also distrustful.

 _Of course she knows that she's… pretty! How could she not? She looks like a freaking doll with her too pale skin and her too big eyes, ridiculous._ Amy watched how Lauren played with the end of her – still perfect - _HOW IN HELL DOES SHE DO THAT –_ braid. Why does she feel this insecure around this evil girl? It's like Lauren was sending mixed signals: On the one hand the badass bitch on the other hand this self-consciousness girl with way too much emotion in this big blue eyes. "I won't. Scout's honor." Amy sneered. She didn't even understand why she acted like a bitch herself. It was almost as if Lauren dared her to be like that so they couldn't slip on a way too emotional level. _Why do I care at all?!_ Amy asked herself when she left the room, leaving Lauren with an unreadable expression.

Lauren sat there, watching Amy leave and sighed heavily. "Scout's honor" She aped with a growl and stand up. _Fuck you, Donutface._ The small girl stood before her mirror, glancing at her reflection, while she was stroking her curves slightly. _I don't have you to tell me how pretty I am._ But this weird feeling in her stomach – _was it disappointment?_ – was telling her otherwise. Slowly she slipped off her dress, to take on her more comfortable pajamas. After cleaning her face from the left make-up, combing her hair, doing her daily-routine, she took a deep breath before she knocked on Amy's door. With a highly disapproving face she waited until Amy opened the door, letting her in. "That weren't ten minutes." She just said, letting her stepsister in. "Well. You asked for my presence, so you have to wait like everybody else." Lauren sneered, looking around. She still wondered, why Amy was allowed to keep the larger room, after the whole 'I'm-a-freakin-lesbian'- disaster. Kicking one of her shirts aside she asked: "Couldn't you clean up at least?"

Stroking through her now loose worn hair, she turned to Amy, tilted her head. "What're you looking at?" Her expression was a mix of confusion and anger. Amy looked still like the mess, maybe she combed her hair, but nothing more. Amy lifted one eyebrow. "I'm looking at you." For one moment she could swear, that she saw how Lauren was flushing, but in the next second she turned around again, clearing her throat. At least Amy couldn't noticed her stepsister's racing heart. _What's wrong with me?!_ "Maybe we could sit down and watch something? Wasn't that you're idea?" Lauren tried to hide her uneasiness and sat down on Amy's bed, playing with the fabric of the blanket.

Amy looked down at this nervous girl, who was supposed to be her evil stepsister. But now she saw the blonde girl in a state, which made Amy believe she could actually like her. Like a sister, of course. _Of course._ The voice in her head responded sarcastically. Okay, maybe Amy could imagine to call Lauren really her friend. Really. _Friend._ Amy shook of her thoughts and the confusing voice as she sat down next to Lauren. "Maybe we could talk about today? You seem quite… off." She raised her head suddenly, looking at Amy. "W-What do you mean?" She huffed, gripping the fabric of the blanket a little bit tighter now. Like in defense, Amy raised her hands. "I… don't know. Just … I would understand if you're… distracted with the whole college-thing and… you know…" Lauren fell silent for a moment, before she whispered: "I've withdrew my application." She bit on her lower lip, trying not to show too much weakness or to allow the tears in her eyes to fall. She didn't even dare to look at Amy's, probably amused, face. _She'll laugh at me, or she is glad, because it increases her chances… I would._ Still deep in thoughts she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder, slightly stroking her, and Amy, who slipped a little bit closer. "Why?" Amy couldn't resist to ask, but her voice was concerned, as she tried to catch Lauren's look. Amy was really worried, it was crazy how the other one troubled her. Finally the small blonde looked up, and Amy noticed the tears in her eyes, also her hoarse voice and the nearly desperate smile. "They only want me because I'm intersex."

Now she couldn't held her tears back anymore. Amy felt a sudden sting in her chest seeing Lauren suffering like that. Though they usually didn't have this kind of intimacy Amy put her arm around the small shoulder of her stepsister, immediately feeling how said girl leaned in. Lauren sobbed weakly, her hands were shaking, searching for holding, when she finally gripped into the fabric of Amy's trousers. She flushed a little bit, when she felt Lauren's fingers, her blonde hair on her cheek, smelt her perfume, a mix of vanilla and strawberries. Instantly she felt the urge to pull her closer, but was too afraid of scaring her away. _You like her as a 'friend', right? So it's really weird to enjoy that hug so much, isn't it?_ Amy swallowed hard at her thoughts. But before she could loosen the hug she heard Lauren's voice again. "And … Anthony…" _Oh god, this bastard. What has he done?_ Slowly she caressed the other girl's arm, causing goosebumps on Lauren's soft skin. _Wait… what?_

To be honest, this was the comfort Lauren wished for the whole day. Yeah, it seemed very odd for her to hug Amy this deeply, crying on her shoulder, without any unpleasant questions. It was nothing like this with Anthony. She really felt somehow …comfortable with her stepsister, protected in her arm, understood, and her fingers leaving this tingling sensation on her skin. _That's not normal, is it?_

Lauren looked up, when she felt Amy stop and her body suddenly tensing. Her expression was unreadable. Was she … flustered? Confused? Angry? It was as if Lauren remembered who sat next to her, when her eyes widened and slowly moved away, while wiping her tears. "… Sorry." She mumbled, very embarrassed. "You know, I'm usually not the one whining around like a crybaby." She tried to find her strength again, but it felt like she failed. Especially when she heard Amy's next question:

"Lauren… could it be… well… Do you like me?"


	3. Chapter 3

" _Lauren… could it be… well… Do you like me?"_

Lauren opened her mouth slowly, but couldn't speak. She felt the heat of her own face, her cheeks were burning of embarrassment. _How… does she know? Well… what… DOES she know? Because… it's not like I like her… like… LIKE her… is it? … No?!_ She gasped slightly, escaping Amy's look. "Wha… no… No, what?!" She stuttered, but cursed herself immediately for it.

Amy was surprised by Lauren's reaction and looked at her with a frown. "Well… you… cuddled …with me just a few moments ago, so I assumed that we're not… enemies?" She noticed how Lauren swallowed and how she stroked her blonde hair behind her ear. _You could do this as well. Touching her soft hair, caressing it._ Well… these were new thoughts. Where did they came from? "Are we… friends, Lauren? Like… real friends?"

' _Friend.'_ Lauren took a deep breath, she looked at Amy, nervously, but also very softly. Amy didn't see her like that very often. "… I … think so?" She mumbled, returned Amy's look, before she laughed weakly. "But you don't have to spread this, do you?" She gestured between them, talking of the quite intimate situation they just had. Why did the heat in her face not vanish?!

Amy shook her head, smiling a little bit. She seemed relieved. "So... but… when we're friends it's okay touching each other, right?" _Well creep. That sounded SO WRONG. Wow._ Lauren's confused expression seemed to say more than thousand words. _Very well, Amy. It was so nice, but you've scared her away. Great._ She just wanted to say, that it's okay for them to comfort each other, because they were friends. She also cuddled with Karma, so why not with Lauren? _You don't want to draw that parallel, do you, Amy? REALLY?_

Amy couldn't be serious about that. It was a joke. A bad joke. Lauren looked at her warily. "You wish!" She simply answered, lifting one eyebrow, though she didn't feel like she was in her bitch-mood.

Before this situation could be even weirder – was that even possibly? – Lauren smirked at Amy and changed the topic. "Well, do you know what I'm wishing for? My ice cream!" A laugh escaped from Amy. Fortunately her stepsister changed the topic. "I knew you would need time to … well… 'get ready for bed'" Amy couldn't resist grinning at her suggestive words. "So I put it back in the freezer." She let herself fall behind on her bed. "That means, you have to go and get it." _So, like getting someone?_ Lauren turned around, watching Amy, who was lying on her bed, with a small smile of her face. "You're terrible." She glared at Amy and leaned in. "Maybe I'll think about that 'friend'-thing once again." Slowly she laid down next to the other on her stomach, resting her head on her arms, while studying Amy. She noticed, how her heart was still beating faster than usual.

"I talked with Anthony. But… god. I don't know. He's such an idiot. I kissed him. I don't know why. I wished I wouldn't have." Her voice softened to a whisper. Why did she tell that? But Amy's face was trustworthy.

"Reagan dumped me." Amy answered in a whisper as well. When she mentioned her name, her heart began to ache again, tears were burning in her eyes again. Well. The last minutes seemed too good to be true. Of course the pain was still there. Of course she was disappointed and sad and… desperate. Reagan was an amazing girl and… "WHAT?!" Amy's thoughts were disrupted by Lauren's piercing voice. She looked at her in shock. "I … mean… Why?! And why did you let me whine over all of my crap?!" Amy could tell, that Lauren was very angry. She raised a little bit to look at Amy with a concerned expression.

"Well. You were the one crying. What should I do? But besides that, I don't know if you're even interested in this whole relationship-shit, since this 'thing' of you and Theo." Amy admitted with a weak voice and smiled at Lauren. It was clearly a faked smile. Lauren stared at Amy a few minutes, while curling her lips. Slowly she reached out and caressed tenderly about Amy's cheek, wiping a tear away. "But now you're the one crying." She was right. The blonde didn't noticed that she'd began crying. Where Lauren placed her fingers on her, Amy's skin began to tingle, her heart was beating fast. With an almost soft smile Lauren stroked strands of hair from Amy's face.

 _And you were wondering if you like her._

Amy smelt the perfume of her stepsister, while her crying turned into sobbing. After a few minutes she explained: "She is… angry… and don't want to be with me anymore, because I am not only into girls." Lauren looked confused. "But… I thought this with Liam was a 'mistake'." She air-quoted. "I thought you were a … well… a lesbian?"

Amy shook her head weakly and slipped closer to the smaller girl, almost touching her body with her own. "I am just… so … confused…" She mumbled, looking with tearfully eyes at Lauren. _Oh yes. Very confused, to be exactly. Or why do her fingers feel this amazing on your skin?_ "But… you… do like girls…, don't you?" Amy blushed slightly, feeling dizzy by watching in Lauren's big eyes. Finally she nodded feebly, smiled a little bit. "Then… Reagan is just a bitch." Amy giggled about Lauren's words, because they were so similar to the ones at their parent's wedding. "Don't giggle! I am right! You just have a thing for those bitches, haven't you?" Lauren raised her voice a little bit and punched Amy playfully. "But you're … kind of a bitch, too. So I would have a thing for you too, wouldn't I?" _Well done, Amy. You're really discreet._


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note:** I'm sorry for not updating :') Thank you for your patience! This chapter take up S02E14 "Saturday Fight Live", so I'm sorry for spoilers!

And like always: Sorry for my bad english, haha.  
Reviews are appreciated!

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_"Don't giggle! I am right! You just have a thing for those bitches, haven't you?" Lauren raised her voice a little bit and punched Amy playfully. "But you're … kind of a bitch, too. So I would have a thing for you too, wouldn't I?" Well done, Amy. You're really discreet._

.

The girl felt how Lauren tensed a little bit, narrowing her eyes, put her hands down. The tiny blonde felt her heart racing. _Fuck. Fuck. What is this?! A bad joke?_ After a moment in silence Lauren smirked suddenly. "You have to promise you won't fall in love with me."

Amy stared at her stepsister, confused, but then she conceived the allusion and broke out in laughter. "But you won't tell me, that you've got leukemia, will you?" The tension between the girls vanished, when Lauren punched her again, grinning. "I didn't expect you could recall "A walk to remember" this good! You were asleep half of the movie like daddy!" Amy moaned theatrically. "Because the movie was SO BAD. And I already knew it, because Karma made me watching it." Lauren pouted a little bit. "It was not really bad. Just… REALLY … cheesy."

Giggling Lauren laid back down, watching Amy carefully. At least she was laughing. She hated when Amy was crying. Well, when Lauren didn't make her. "You're looking like shit." She grinned at her stepsister, playing with the fabric of Amy's bed again. Amy became silent, gazed at Lauren. It was a slightly awkward moment, but she returned the look.

"You don't." Amy whispered, slowly reaching out, to stop Lauren fondling with her sheets, tenderly touching Lauren's fingers. _She must be kidding… Why is she doing that? Saying things like that?_ This time Lauren didn't flinch back from the touch, instead she grabbed Amy's hand, holding it tightly. "I thought you won't tell me, that I'm pretty?"

"I didn't." _Well, I'm holding hands with my stepsister. And it feels… quite… okay, no… It feels really good. Her fingers are so small and she seems so breakable._ Amy sniffed weakly, before smiling. _She is really beautiful. It could be the perfect moment to kiss her._ Her own thoughts were confusing Amy. In one second she cried after Reagan, in the other she was thinking about… wait… thinking about kissing Lauren?! This was… very… weird. "W-well… we could… watch a film, or something?" Loosening the grip, Amy sat up, breaking this intimate moment. Her voice was too husky, too shaky to sound like nothing happened just this minute, to convince herself that there was no awkward feeling in her stomach, watching the small blonde next to her.

 _What's wrong?!_ Lauren frowned slightly, cleared her throat and also sat up. "But it has to be a good one. And I want my ice cream."

It was awkward to cuddle herself into someone else's sheets. The bed smelt like Amy, but it was a warm and nice feeling. "You have to move a bit!" Lauren groaned. "You're not that fat, are you?" She hissed, pulling at the blanket, to cover herself more in it. Amy kneeled at her bed, in one hand the icecream, in the other the spoons, looking down at Lauren. "Well. You don't have to move, but I didn't expect you to cuddle with me. But your wish is my command." _Wait… what?_

She dropped down, before clinging at Lauren, smiling provocatively. _Well… that's unexpected._ Lauren swallowed hard, clenching her teeth, ignoring the fluttering feeling that was overcoming her. "Okay, okay! You've won!" She sighed, moving a bit aside, immediately missing the warm body against her own. Did she noticed a disappointed glimpse of Amy? Silently both of them sat there, Lauren biting her lower lip nervously, while Amy was searching the movie they agreed on.

 _I don't know what I'm doing. This is… so awkward._

The Intro played and Amy leant back, so that her shoulder brushed against Lauren's, which made her shrug immediately. "Sorry." The small blonde whispered embarrassed, noticing her own over-reaction. Amy glimpsed at her more than confused. "Just eat your ice-cream." She answered, while watching how Lauren played with her spoon in it. _Lauren's acting so … off. What's wrong?!_

.

.

They watched the movie without any incidences, commenting on the bad acting and the terrible plot, eating ice-cream, grinning about the jokes of the other. All in all was it a nice time they spend together. Soon Lauren forgot the strange feelings in her stomach, it felt right sitting next to Amy, who was really relieved getting distraction by her stepsister. They didn't even noticed how they moved closer together, until Amy put her arm around Lauren, by habit from the movie-nights with Karma. Lauren winced and looked with a shocked expression at Amy, who didn't lose her grip. "You were sitting on my arm, it got really uncomfortable." Just nodding Lauren cuddled in the pillow behind her and Amy's arm. Suddenly she noticed the weird feeling again, which made her frown a little bit. As soon as the credits played Lauren straightened herself up and cleared her throat.

"So. Before this gets even weirder I'll go to bed." Her voice fake-sweet as usual. Amy giggled in amusement. "I thought we would have a sleep-over?" With a small grin she watched Lauren's reaction. "You seemed to feel very comfortable in my bed beside me, didn't you?" Her stepsister just felt how her face was heating up and hated her body for this obvious reaction. "No way in hell. Are you sick, or something?" She hissed, standing up abruptly, glaring at Amy. "This evening was an exception. Don't make this weird, okay?!" Her voice raised at her last words, but they didn't have the power as usual. For Amy her voice sounded not as annoying as it used to do. She groaned and stretched out on her bed. "The only one making this evening weird is you, Lauren. If you don't want any company just go, instead of screaming at me like I'd have attempt to rape you." Lauren fell silent, just watching Amy on her bed. With her lips curling she crossed her arms. "I didn't." She growled. "Let's never speak again of it, ok?! Good night!" With swearing words on her lips Lauren turned around, on her way out of Amy's room. "Too bad. I think it was really nice with you, Lauren." Amy's words resonated in her head this night, causing her sleepless hours.

.

.

The next week was annoying and exhausting for both of them. Amy was crying, lying in her bed most of the time, hiding from the real world and her responsibilities. Karma was a quite good company, eating junk food, watching series and so on. The pain the break-up caused the blonde was incredible. She didn't expect this end of her first real lesbian relationship. When she met Lauren it was more than awkward. Her small stepsister glimpsed at her, Amy could see the judging expression in her eyes, but sometimes she could swear that there was more than that, but always when Amy wanted to begin a conversation, Lauren hissed or yelled at her, or even worse: became silent, before leaving the room. As painful as the break-up was, it wasn't quite helpfully either, that Lauren acted even weirder than before. Sometimes Amy caught herself at wondering if Lauren was meeting with Theo again. This thought build a knot in her stomach, which she couldn't really explain. Soon she tried to distract herself from this with even more junk food and more series.

Lauren couldn't stand watching Amy suffering. At first she didn't admit it to herself, but the thoughts were to convincing. She thought Amy was pitiful, pathetic even, just hiding from anything in this world, crying over this fucking Reagan-bitch. And not about her. Wait. No. Not about something she had done. She hated the thought that Amy was suffering from the treatment of somebody else. And then the fact, that Karma was ALWAYS in their house. Always. It was so annoying! Lauren couldn't neither hear her annoying voice nor waiting in front of the bathroom until Karma was ready, anymore. As weren't these things distressing enough, Theo had begun to write and call her again. First, when she answered, it was just a distraction from her very confusing thoughts about her stepsister, but soon enough she found herself in enjoying the attention. Also she already knew, that he wasn't the person she wanted it from. _You're hiding your feelings even from yourself. You're the pathetic one here._

Things were getting even weirder, when Amy found the note of Theo. Lauren cursed silently, not wanting Amy to found out the … thing… she had with Theo. She didn't even want it at all, but Amy knowing seemed much worse, than defending herself from her inner judging voice. So while pretending, that she was so in love with that guy, who broke her heart, hearing the sweet words, of how he missed her eyes and her kisses and… oh… when the fuck did she became this cheesy?! … she tried to convince herself really, that she was. Maybe it would help to say it out loud? "Theo, Theo, Theo… I hoped that would summon you-" Well… this was so fucked up. He explained her that he had left the said note, and she pretended to be sooo happy about it, her thoughts already racing what would be if someone else would find it.

"Wha… Look, what I've found! Look!" Of course. Why did Lauren expect to have luck at all? She didn't have it since she moved here, did she? She stared at Amy in shock, not knowing what she had to say. Even standing in front of her, made her thinking back on this weird evening and made her swallowing hard. "I'm counting the hours until I see you again." Amy read in disbelief. "W-… What is that? I don't know it's definitely not for me… " _Well… Lauren… that was not really convincing. You used to be a better actress._ "Ouuuhhh! I know exactly what this is!" _Lauren, you're fucked. And you know it right?_ She prepared herself to tell Amy, slowly closing her eyes to gain power. "You do?"

"My mom is having an affair." Amy couldn't believe it. Why was her life getting worse every minute? She looked at her blonde stepsister. It was the first moment since this evening that they talked like normal persons with each other. Kind of… Lauren was still acting strange. But her mother also acted off and suspiciously. Lauren and she were eating breakfast, in silence, but Amy was giving her knowing looks. Her stepsister slowly drinking her tea, her braid was perfect like always, just like her make-up and… wait. No more of this crazy thoughts! She complimented her mother on the new haircut. "It looks nice!" Amy told her, but when Farrah left the room she whispered to Lauren: "Too nice. I've seen it all before. The hair dude, the happiness… She's cheating!" Lauren rolled her eyes at her, but Amy knew she was right. And it made her so angry, she nearly forgot why she looked like a total mess.

"You don't know that! Maybe it was from Bruce!" _Way to go, Lauren. Just make everybody suspicious except for you._ "Nope! This is my mom's pattern! She cheats on every husband with the next one!" Amy went on gossiping over the bad taste her mother had. "Believe it or not: Bruce was the best on the bunch." Her compliment made Lauren proud. Of course she had her disputes with her father, but she knew he loved her and that she was his little girl, and that he would… "And… ahm… This whole 'stepsister-thing' wasn't so terrible either." Wait. What. _Don't make a fucking fuss about it, Lauren Cooper!_ She demanded herself, also she felt this weird feeling, she was to suppress the last time, in her stomach again. "Same." She simply answered.

"Right! So… this is our family and it's up to us to keep her from wrecking it!" "If we can prove that she started something. You have a tendency to handle with too little information." Too little information. If Amy would know… But Lauren kept going: "Remember the croquembouche?" Amy couldn't prevent herself from laughing. Lauren looked so funny, when Amy giggled. "It's just a funny word!" It was the first real laughter in the last past days.

Again Lauren rolled with her eyes, crossed her arms over her chest, but couldn't suppress the relieved expression in her eyes. It made her stomach fluttering hearing this. "You're such a weirdo." Amy grinned at her, picking one of the croissants next to her and began to eat. "Well, I know you like that, don't you?" Instead of an instant answer Lauren gripped her mug tighter and sipped slowly her tea. "You wish." She murmured after a while, raising an eyebrow.

This day was so strange, barely explainable. First Lauren thought Amy became crazy over the break-up, or this 'affair-thing' but when they found the card of the motel this thing became more and more suspicious. It was distressing and awful, but she also was kind of happy to spent time with her stepsister, also she wouldn't say it out loud. It was… just nice… to have a person around her, she didn't want to kill immediately. Even the preparing for dinner wasn't that annoying. But Amy kept speaking about Farrah and what a cheater she was. Lauren couldn't stand it. Though she loved her dad, she admitted to Amy that he also had a… history of cheating. The dinner with their parents was simply awkward. Both of them interrogated their parents, but weren't getting any unreasonable answers. Instead Farrah got confused and asked Amy why she acted so off, before concluding: "Oh… I know what this is about. You're still smarten up from your break-up! And right now I know you just hope you'll never fall in love again! But your soulmate is out there!" Lauren grinded her teeth at these words. Why was she even here? Couldn't she vanish in this moment? "You'll find him someday! … Or her. Them. Whoever!" Lauren couldn't resist looking at Amy, but catching her glance in the same moment. Her stepsister just shrugged and sighed slightly.

Soon after that Lauren found herself on a 'stake-out' with Amy. Wasn't that rather Theo's job? But… whatever. She only wished she could have stayed on their sofa a little bit longer, instead of assaulting the next store for Amy's snacks and then spending way too much life time in her car with that ugly sweater on, waiting for one of her parents to show up in this sleazy motel. On the other hand… she spent her time at least not with Anthony, who had bombarded her with messages and sweet words. She sighed. What was she doing? She watched how Amy stuffed this unhealthy trash into her mouth and raised an eyebrow. Disgusting.

Amy played with the radio, but turned it off soon again. Lauren's judging look was too worse to stand. Wait. Since when she couldn't stand Lauren's look? This whole day was so strange. Spending time with Lauren like… sist… like friends? Also she was her stepsister, she didn't really want to think of her like that. Amy didn't even noticed, that she was staring at the little blonde. This black sweater looked so funny at her. "What is it?" Lauren hissed annoyed and looked at her. Well. This was the Lauren she knew. Amy swallowed, still staring at her. "Nothing. It's just unusual to see you in comfortable clothes. Normally you're looking like a doll, totally dressed up." Sometimes she envied her, how she just looked always perfect, but sometimes it's also a different feeling. _Admiration?_ Amy hated her mind. What did it to her and why?! "Is this an insult?" Lauren asked tensed looking at Amy. Her blue eyes were bright enough to be remarkable in the dim car. _Wow._ Amy forgot what she wanted to say, to think, to do and swallowed, trying to slow down her racing heart. After a few moments she realized, that she was still staring and still not giving an answer. "N…no! But these clothes are making you look more… like a real human?" "So… you think I'm not a real human?" Lauren's voice was slowly and almost… vulnerable? But… that couldn't be. "No! I mean… I… just… argh! Forget it! I'm done with complimenting you!"

Luckily it was dark in the car, so Amy couldn't see Lauren's blush. "So, it was a compliment?" She asked with a small smile on her lips, glimpsing at Amy. "You're thinking I'm … pretty?" Amy rolled her eyes. What had she done? Lauren turned slightly to Amy, her hands a little bit shaky. _You're so pathetic, Lauren._ She thought to herself, while waiting for Amy's answer. This blue eyes gazing at her making Amy more insecure, than she would admit to herself. "Well. Yes? You know, that you're beautiful, it's strange that you need my affirmation, isn't it?"

Lauren frowned a little bit. "Wait. Did you say beautiful, Donut-face?" Insulting her to keep the walls high, she watched how Amy cringed, taking a deep breath. "Don't let it go to your head." She stated fast, grabbing her spyglass, pretending to watch after their parents. Lauren was biting on her lower lip, still smiling. She shouldn't be this happy about Amy's words, should she?

A long time past, Amy couldn't say how much, it felt like hours, especially because of the weird tension between the two girls. Lauren was leaning back, relaxing a little bit. "This sucks." She stated after a while. "Marriage sucks." Amy answered simply. "Correction: Love sucks!" Lauren looked disapproving at her. "You don't believe that." "Yeah, I do!" Amy reasserted and looked at Lauren. "Wake up! Soon we will be former sisters! These are… our role-models for … happy lasting relationships! You and I are doomed!" Her words pained the small blonde, and she wanted to answer her desperate words, when she got distracted by her mobile. It was from Theo. _Oh Jesus. What does he want again?!_ 'Can't stop thinking of U. You make me smile.' Cheesy crap, wasn't it? But… when she could pretend it wasn't from this guy, but … a… different person, the text made her smile. Maybe it wasn't too bad, if it comes from the right person? This made her think of the last days… weeks even? ... when there was just one person, who made her laugh. "Maybe not?" She answered after a while. "Doomed is… such a strong and… negative word! We are not our parents!"

Lauren wanted to continue speaking, but suddenly they saw a quite familiar car. Though the words were confusing Amy, she couldn't think about it, because in this moment she saw her mother entering the motel. She couldn't believe she was right. Why again? This was a bad joke, wasn't it? "That bitch…" Lauren growled. In the next minutes too many things happened. Lauren got out the car, stamping to the front door, knocking furiously and yelling curses through the door, until someone opened it. Amy followed her stepsister fast, but froze, trying to prevent her from driving her car through the door, when she saw the man, who opened.

"Dad?!"

Both of the girls were in shock, looking at Amy's father. Amy was the first who reacted. She huffed and turned around. Tightly she grabbed Lauren's wrist and dragged the small blonde with her. "Amy!" She heard her mother shouting, but didn't react. She was too angry to speak with one of her parents. How could they dare?! She needed to go away. Now.

Lauren was surprised by Amy's reaction, flustered by her touch and still shocked of the events. "What the fuck?!" They rushed to the car, before slowing down. Very hesitantly she loosed her grip. "Drive me home… please." She looked at Lauren with watery eyes, who just nodded, swallowing hard. This time she didn't argued or made her usual comments, she just drove her stepsister back home, hearing her sniffing. Though she didn't say anything Lauren was still angry, gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles stained white. How could Farrah do this?! What kind of mother was that?! While parking in front of their house Lauren huffed. She couldn't believe what happened. And, to be honest, she had no clue what to do with Amy, let alone to say. The last week was hard for her and now this happened? Seems like Lauren wasn't the only one with no luck.

Both of them fell silent in the dark car. Lauren still heard the other one sniffing and swallowing hard. "Do you want me to drive you to Karma?" She finally asked, suppressing a sigh. Well, Karma was her best friend, right? She would know what to do in this situation. "No!" Amy's loud voice made the other girl cringe. "Don't tell anyone, Lauren! Not Karma, not Bruce, nobody!" Again she looked at her with her fucking watery eyes. "Please." _Since when does this impress you?_ After a few moments Lauren groaned, before she nodded. "Okay, okay!" She left the car angrily, pushed the car door with way too much force. She didn't wait for Amy to follow her, just rushed to the front door, searching in her pockets for the key. Suddenly she felt a touch on her shoulder. Lauren froze in her movement, her heart began to beat faster. "I have the key." She heard Amy's whisper, not daring to turn around and face her stepsister.

Amy followed Lauren with fast steps, watching how she searched for the keys. Why was she this angry? But even more important: Why did she do what Amy told her and acted this … nervous? After a few steps she stood behind Lauren, near enough to smell her perfume again, touching her shoulder gently. Slowly she grabbed their key, and reached the lock, past Lauren's body. In another world this could have been a hug, or something like that.

Suddenly Lauren turned her head a little, looking at Amy with her way to blue doll-like eyes. Suddenly Amy noticed how near the other girl's face was. Suddenly she also froze, just staring at the other one. Her mind was empty, though her face was still puffy. Amy felt how her own hand stroke Lauren's shoulder. What was this feeling? She came closer to Lauren's face, first looking into her eyes, before staring at her pink lips. She couldn't even think about what she was doing right now. The smell of Lauren was overwhelming. Amy gripped her stepsister's shoulder tighter, pulling her nearer.

Lauren was still standing there, looking at Amy in awe, with racing heart and slight goosebumps where she had felt the touch of the other. _Is she… is she going to kiss me?_


End file.
